Exclamation Points!!!!!

“Every writer receives only five exclamation points to use over the course of their writing lives.”

So said a mentor with whom I taught writing many summers ago. He warned that we had to be certain our chosen sentence so demanded exclaiming that it warranted one of our limited supply. His rule held no mercy. When you’ve used that fifth one, go hang up your pen. You’re done.

Being a writer, who is also a mom, I have to admit that in shepherding two-year-old’s, I could use all five in a single breath: No! No! No! No! No! I used more than that in reasoning with teenagers. I released a blight of the offending symbol in curfew notes and in chore lists and in rants of varying lengths about putting their damn shoes away. In other words, I blew through that only-five rule so many thousands of times that I’ve proved our writers’ stock of exclamation points to be infinite.

But do we need them? Peppering our texts with an emphatic, upside-down “i” is the equivalent of writing a Twitter post in All Caps. What’s with the shouting? If we use the attribution of the young woman shouted, isn’t the exclamation point redundant? Shouldn’t the situation itself and the words she uses tell us she is shouting?

In a time when we use our !!!!!’s wantonly in email and texts to denote enthusiasm (Hi! I hope you’re good!), how are we to manage a well-tempered application of the exclamation point? That depends on the writer, but as the French say, if you have only a few francs left, buy champagne.

The more I’ve thought about this, the more it dawns that I don’t know how to read an exclamation point. Punctuation provides the breathing instructions that allow the writer’s meaning to float with clarity across the surface of their words. Taking a breath gives the brain the time needed to comprehend.

A comma says, “Inhale here; more is coming.” A period says, “Exhale, pause, inhale and begin the next sentence.” How is the reader supposed to breathe through an exclamation point? The thing is part period and part a brick wall of a stop. It interrupts the breath like sighting a English Royal Guardsman in full uniform (!) in line at the Dairy Queen.

The point sits at the end of the sentence, giving its breathing instructions after the fact and thus feels as thought it needs a verb of dramatic interpretation. We may simply imply the point’s presence with word choice. Which is, for you, the more evocative read? She shouted, “Stop it!”—or—She narrowed her eyes and hissed, “Stop it.” There is no wrong answer. As in all writing, if we do use one, we should know our reason why.

In a time when we use our !!!!!’s wantonly in email and texts to denote enthusiasm (Hi! I hope you’re good!), how are we to manage a well-tempered application of the exclamation point? That depends on the writer, but as the French say, if you have only a few francs left, buy champagne. If we squint, the ! does resemble the trajectory of a popping champagne cork. Imbibe responsibly.

I took a vow to never again use the exclamation point. I still do, of course, but now my use is based on a desire to move forward when creating the story. The point tells me to come back and devise a more vivid tag, dialogue, or description. Say what you will, exclamation points make great place holders. The ! is akin to a brainy kid shooting their hand upward to announce they have something to add. We’ve no way to avoid hearing them out.

Writing Exercise

Write an angry argument between two or more characters. Use only exclamation marks to indicate the anger. Now, rewrite the same argument with the same characters and convey the anger through word choice, attribution, and gesture. Read both aloud. Which one strikes you as the more effective rendering of the argument? Why?

Photo by Setyaki Irham on Unsplash