Empathy and the Query Letter
Before beginning the query process, you prepare. Prepare to write and rewrite the query letter itself. Prepare to customize it for its intended recipient. Prepare to wait…and wait…and wait through weeks or months of silence. Prepare to then hear No, thank you. A lot. Prepare to repeat this process dozens of times.
Books, articles, online courses, and workshops abound on how to write a query letter. Partake of what you can. Every bit of another writer’s or professional’s wisdom informs you how you might approach what is often a more challenging piece of writing than your book.
One aspect of the query process is rarely talked about: Empathy. Put yourself in the place of the agents or editors you are querying. Imagine yourself on a dating app. You’re not looking for a fling. You’re looking for a strong and steady long-term relationship. You have tens of thousands of possibilities, and every single day brings more.
Imagine how many times you will swipe left before you find a person for whom you will even consider swiping right. Imagine how many requests for contact you will receive. You have your standards, your tastes, your gut instincts to base your choices on. How many times would you say, No, thank you to profiles while genuinely hoping those people find someone better suited?
You don’t want just any agent or editor. You want what those publishing professionals want: to feel that your book sparks their love.
As a writer who is offering their work for such consideration, you, too, ought to know what you want and need in representation. Empathy for yourself. Think about that for a while.
When you query an agent, be certain that person is one with whom you, too, sense a connection. You don’t want just any agent or editor. You want what those publishing professionals want: to feel that your book sparks their love. Even to promising profiles, you may need to say No, thank you. A lot. To up your odds of finding the right person, do your homework. Learn what you can about to whom you are submitting your query.
Presentation is also an expression of empathy. Make sure your book is the closest thing to the book you want on the shelf. No one expects perfection in even a final draft, but if you want to win an agent’s or editor’s heart, their championing enthusiasm, fix as many fixables as you can find. That shows how much you care. Send only what they ask.
No matter the amount of time and effort you’ve spent on your first draft, do not submit your first draft of anything to anyone other than trusted readers for first-round feedback. This is the voice of impatient experience talking.
Once your best work is sent to the chosen agent or editor, the waiting in silence begins. How long do you wait before nudging for a reply? Give them a couple weeks past the promised response time and then email a polite request for status on your query or manuscript.
Dealing with the No, thank you’s (I now refuse to call the “swipe left” by its harsher term) is an essay unto itself. While waiting, settle in, start a new project, and remember, as my mentor used to say, “No news is no news.”
Writing Exercise
For all the pointers out there about how to compose a proper query letter, it still has to be your letter. It needs to be business-like, a single page, in ideally three paragraphs, that incites an irresistible urge to read more while showing yourself reliable in delivering on the promise in the query. Your story’s hook, your plot’s essentials, your experience as a writer—in that professional’s preferred order. Although many successful query letters take a different form, it’s a good exercise to winnow down your book and bio to those three concise paragraphs. The object is to offer a sample of your voice as a writer while proving yourself disciplined in approach. Writers, start your queries.
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